


The perks of being a wallflower

by AroArtem



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Mild Hurt/Comfort, POV Kyle (She-Ra), Physical Abuse, Pre-Canon, Swearing, i just like the phrase, no relation to the book of the same title
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:33:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24880018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AroArtem/pseuds/AroArtem
Summary: No one really notices Kyle, but he notices a lot more than anyone gives him credit for. After witnessing some messed up things happen to Catra, he decides the gang shouldn't be so hard on her.A character study of pre-canon Catra through Kyle's POV, maybe a few weeks or months before season 1. Three short scenes, each a few days apart. Rated T for swearing.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Kyle & Lonnie & Rogelio (She-ra), Kyle/Rogelio (She-Ra)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 154





	The perks of being a wallflower

“Catra.”

Kyle and Catra spun around. Shadow Weaver had arrived in the doorway soundlessly and with no warning, as she always did, gliding a few inches off the ground. Just for show, Kyle thought. He and Catra stood at attention at their respective lockers.

“Why aren’t you training with the rest of your team, Catra?” Shadow Weaver asked as she glided slowly toward Catra. Did she even see Kyle?

Catra met her gaze, perfectly nonchalant, and drawled, “We’re changing our training shirts. The drill sergeant told us we need to change before we start the next exercise.” She gestured vaguely at the green goop dripping down her and Kyle’s shirts.

“Ah, yes, I see. You are covered in goop. How did that happen?” Shadow Weaver stopped less than two feet in front of Catra, so Catra had to tilt her head back to look at her. Her weird dress tendrils were brushing Catra’s shins. To Catra’s credit, she did not step back. Kyle would have.

Catra shrugged. “The drill sergeant had us fight goop-spitting bots. Guess he thought it was funny.”

Shadow Weaver sighed dramatically. “And of course, you got shot.” She brushed the back of her hand along the side of Catra’s face. “I’d expect nothing more. You’ll have to do better than that, Catra.”

Catra’s tail twitched, but otherwise she gave no indication that Shadow Weaver’s comments affected her. “Yes, Shadow Weaver. Can I go now? Kyle and I have to get back to training.” Kyle flinched at his name. Catra turned back to her locker and started rummaging for a new shirt.

Faster than Kyle could follow, Shadow Weaver raised her hand and gripped Catra’s shoulder, and suddenly Catra was encased in Black Garnet electric magic. Her body stiffened and she gasped in pain. Kyle felt the blood drain out of his face, frozen in terror.

“Oh, Catra,” Shadow Weaver said sympathetically. “Couldn’t even defend against a goop bot. You are the weakest member of your cadet team. I never should have kept you. Adora is better off without you, and so is the rest of the Horde.”

A tiny trickle of anger broke through Kyle’s fear. He knew what it felt like to be called the weakest member of the team. Catra didn’t deserve that—no one did. And besides, it wasn’t even close to true. Catra did almost as well as Adora in most of their training exercises, and it was Kyle’s fault they both got shot with goop anyway.

Before his bravery could abandon him, he stammered, “Um, I—I got gooped, too, Shadow Weaver.”

Shadow Weaver didn’t even look at him. For a few long seconds he thought nothing would happen, but then she released Catra, who collapsed at the waist and put her hands on her knees, gasping.

“Get back to your training, Catra.” Shadow Weaver spat Catra’s name as if it was a terrible insult. Then she turned and glided out of the room. She never once acknowledged that Kyle was there.

For a moment they stood like that, Catra bent over into her locker, her fur standing on end; Kyle across the room staring at Catra, afraid to move. Then Catra mechanically stood back up, grabbed her clean shirt from her locker, slammed the locker shut, and turned her blue and gold eyes on Kyle. 

“What… are you… looking… at?” she hissed.

Kyle quickly averted his eyes. “S-sorry.” He turned back to his locker and shakily rummaged for a clean shirt. When he turned back around, Catra was gone.

But the look in Catra’s eyes felt burned into his memory forever. He hoped he’d never see anyone in that much pain again.

* * *

Kyle woke to a peal of laughter.

“Catra, shh!” Adora giggled. “You’ll wake someone up!”

Kyle opened his eyes a crack as their hushed laughter subsided. The ceiling was dark. For a few seconds, all he could hear was the creaking of the Fright Zone pipes and Lonnie and Rogelio’s quiet snores. Then—

“I don’t think anyone woke up,” Catra murmured.

“Nice,” said Adora.

Kyle closed his eyes and willed himself to go back to sleep, but he knew it wouldn’t work. Falling asleep was not an easy task for Kyle, even without a background track of two teenage girls whispering to each other. He resigned himself to another one of _those_ nights.

He could have moved to indicate that he was awake so they would stop talking and he could go back to sleep, but he didn’t. He never did. Something about the way they talked to each other when they thought no one was listening—it captivated him. He felt a little guilty about eavesdropping, but he figured, what did it matter? It wasn’t like he was going to tell anyone about what he heard. It wasn’t like he had anyone to tell.

“So anyways, then the drill sergeant was like,”—Adora imitated the drill sergeant with a fake deep voice—“‘ _Shadow Weaver, drop and give me twenty!_ ’ And Shadow Weaver was like, ‘ _No! I cannot do a push-up! I use magic to do everything, so my arms are too weak!_ ’”

Both girls dissolved into stifled laughter again.

“Man, I wish my dreams were that good!” said Catra. “Then again, I’m surprised your dumb brain was creative enough to come up with something other than _sleep-training_.”

“Hey! Rude!” Kyle heard a light thump and imagined Adora swinging her pillow into Catra’s face.

The girls were silent for a while, except for the occasional giggle. Kyle suppressed a smile too, picturing the scene from Adora’s dream.

After a minute, Catra said, “I wish something like that could happen to Shadow Weaver in real life. Or to the drill sergeant. Someone needs to put both of them in their place.”

Adora didn’t answer.

“I mean come on,” Catra continued. “You saw me in training today. _I_ was the reason we won the match. I disabled three princess-robots while the rest of you were still trying to figure out how to stop the floor tiles from falling. Then you took out the last one, and what did the drill sergeant say? ‘Good job, _Adora_.’ Just Adora. It’s like I don’t even exist to him!” Her voice rose in frustration and Adora gently shushed her.

“Yeah, you’re right,” said Adora. “You were awesome today and he totally ignored you. I don’t get it.”

“He’s just like Shadow Weaver. Nothing I ever do will be good enough for either of them. I don’t even know why I bother.” Catra’s voice broke on the last word.

Kyle lay perfectly still. He definitely felt guilty now. Guarded, indifferent Catra sounded like she was about to cry. He hoped his heartbeat wasn’t as loud as it felt. If she found out he was awake…

He heard shifting movement from Adora’s bunk. He supposed Adora must have moved closer to Catra because when she spoke her voice was so soft he had to strain to hear it.

“Hey. Come on, look at me. It’ll be okay. Once I’m Force Captain, we’ll get to go see the world. We’ll go out into the field, away from the Fright Zone and Shadow Weaver and the drill sergeant. I bet actually being in the field will be so much more fun than training. We’ll have adventures and defeat the princesses and I’ll make sure you get the recognition you deserve.”

“How are you going to do that?” Catra said bitterly. “Even if we were in the field, even if I single-handedly defeated the whole Rebellion, Shadow Weaver would never respect me. She said it herself, she would’ve gotten rid of me ages ago if it wasn’t for you. The only reason she hasn’t killed me yet is because she knows it’s the one thing you’d never forgive her for.”

_Killed?_

“I—I don’t…” Adora’s voice caught and she stopped.

Had Shadow Weaver threatened to _kill_ Catra? That was nuts… but as Kyle thought about it, he realized, disturbingly, he wasn’t really surprised.

“Whatever, it doesn’t matter,” muttered Catra.

“What?” Even with Adora talking so quietly, Kyle could picture her classic wide-eyed expression. “Shut up, yes it does! Shadow Weaver is horrible! She’s done horrible stuff to you, and the way she treats you is completely unfair. And cruel. You don’t deserve it, Catra, and I _don’t_ forgive her for it. Any of it.” Adora took a shaky breath. “You deserve recognition and happiness and… and everything. You deserve the world, Catra. I just…” She sighed like she was deflating. “…wish I knew how to give it to you.”

For a minute, the pipes and Lonnie and Rogelio’s snores were the only sounds to be heard. Then, so softly Kyle wasn’t sure if he’d imagined it, he thought he heard Catra whisper, “Thanks, Adora.”

Kyle didn’t hear them speak again, but it took him a while to fall back to sleep. He had nightmares of suffocating in shadows.

* * *

“What the hell was that, Catra?” Lonnie yelled.

“That was me winning,” Catra spat back. “I win sometimes. Get over it.” She slammed her locker and turned to face Lonnie, who was standing fists up, ready to throw down despite the angry red claw marks on her forearms and jaw.

“You fought dirty, like you always do! You wanna fight dirty? Let’s go!”

“HEY, hey, okay, everyone, let’s calm down!” said Adora, stepping between them and spreading her arms.

“Piss off, Adora, this isn’t about you,” Lonnie snapped, her eyes still locked on Catra’s.

Adora glanced over at Kyle and Rogelio like, _a little help here?_ Kyle’s stomach lurched—what was _he_ supposed to do? But Rogelio had it covered. He stepped between Adora and Lonnie and put his giant hands on Lonnie’s, gently pushing her fists down. She scowled but didn’t try to fight him. Adora turned to face Catra and took Catra’s hands in her own, ignoring her unsheathed claws.

“Come on, Catra,” said Adora. “Let’s go get some ration bars. If you wanna fight Lonnie, you can fight her again in training tomorrow.”

“Yeah, get lost, Catra,” shot Lonnie. So helpful, that one.

Catra couldn’t glare at Lonnie through Adora and Rogelio, so she was forced to look at Adora, who was using those big puppy eyes that even Lonnie struggled to say no to. Catra didn’t stand a chance. Kyle watched as her slit-like pupils returned to a normal size and her fur smoothed down.

“Fine.” She yanked one of her hands out of Adora’s and walked out of the room, pulling Adora along behind her. Headed to the roof, probably. Kyle knew that’s where Catra liked to go when she was upset. He’d seen her up there a bunch of times, sometimes alone, sometimes with Adora, often after some kind of disagreement or failure. They’d go for dinner when they knew most of the other cadets had already cleared out.

“Arrrrghhhh!” Lonnie yelled. “She’s such a—ughhhh!” She turned away from Rogelio and started pacing around the locker room, kicking the benches and lockers. “Why does she always have to _be_ like that? Dirty cheater, stupid little shit! She’ll do anything to win! She doesn’t even care! Fuck her and her stupid claws and dumb mask! Even in our cooperative training exercises she’s always so competitive and sabotages us for her own gain! Like seriously, does the word ‘teammate’ mean anything to you? Fuck! Fuck her!” She sat down hard on a bench, seething at the floor.

Rogelio made a sympathetic noise, but Kyle wasn’t really listening to Lonnie. He was thinking about the pain in Catra’s eyes and the way her voice broke in the darkness.

“It’s not her fault.”

 _Wait, did I say that out loud? Oh shit._ Kyle cowered as the full force of Lonnie’s rage turned on him.

“Sorry? Not her _fault_?” she demanded, standing back up and starting to advance on him. “Last I checked, she’s the only one responsible for her own behaviour. What are you doing defending her anyway? It’s not like she’s ever done anything for you.”

Rogelio subtly positioned himself in front of Kyle, not quite between him and Lonnie but close enough to intervene. The message was clear: back off the skinny kid. Kyle’s face grew warm.

“It’s just… she…” Kyle stammered. Rogelio had distracted him. _Come on, man, focus!_ “She has a lot going on that you guys don’t see,” he managed.

“Man, what are you talking about?”

He sighed. “You know how Shadow Weaver is with her, right? Like, really mean and, like, cruel even? Really just tears her to shreds at the slightest mistake?”

“Yeah, what’s your point?” Lonnie still looked mad, but her voice was losing some of its bite.

Kyle thought about what he had witnessed last week in this very room. He shivered. “I think it goes a lot deeper than what they let us see. I think Adora knows about more of it, but I bet even she doesn’t know everything. I bet it’s really bad.” He looked up from the floor. Lonnie and Rogelio were both watching him, waiting to see where he was going with this. “I think she behaves the way she does because Shadow Weaver has manipulated her into believing that she _has_ to win, no matter the cost. Like she needs to prove herself beyond just regular Horde stuff. She needs to prove that she deserves… to be alive at all.”

The rest of Lonnie’s fight seemed to drain out of her and she sat back on the bench. Kyle and Rogelio sat down beside her.

“That doesn’t make it okay, though,” said Lonnie, frowning at the floor. “Like, if that’s true, that sucks for her and everything, but she’s still an asshole. And she never apologizes for it! I’ve never even seen her apologize to Adora!”

“Yeah, you’re right,” said Kyle. The gears in his head were spinning, trying to figure it out. Such a precarious situation. Such a complex web of morals. “I think Adora’s a big part of it. All the Shadow Weaver stuff with Catra, I mean. Shadow Weaver’s always comparing her to Adora. Saying stuff like, ‘you’re dragging Adora down’ or ‘you’ll never be as good as Adora’. It’s no wonder she’s competitive—she’s always being made to feel less than. And Adora… well, you know her. Training is her whole life. She never relaxes. Never stops training. It’s not healthy. But isn’t Shadow Weaver the one who’s always praising her for it?”

Lonnie glanced up at him curiously. “How do you… know this stuff?”

“I dunno. I guess I notice stuff. And… people don’t really notice me or think my presence matters. So I end up seeing things and hearing things that aren’t meant for me.”

Rogelio frowned and grunted in objection.

Kyle smiled. “Yeah, you think it matters.” He wished he had an off switch for blushing whenever Rogelio interacted with him. He started fidgeting with his hands. “Most people don’t though. Catra doesn’t. Adora usually doesn’t. Shadow Weaver definitely doesn’t.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” said Lonnie.

Although, for the first time, it occurred to him that maybe he _was_ meant to see Catra getting tortured in the locker room over goop. Maybe Shadow Weaver had been using him to humiliate Catra further. The thought chilled him.

“Look, I don’t know what the best thing we can do about Catra is,” said Kyle. “She doesn’t get a pass on shitty behaviour just because she’s been… you know. Hurt. And stuff. But I wanna help somehow, or at least not make it worse. I just… know what it’s like, I guess.”

Rogelio grunted inquiringly.

Kyle drew his knees up to his chest on the bench. “You know… what it’s like to be put down all the time. I know I’m the worst one on the team, I know I’m skinny and I’m not good at fighting like you guys and I’m not good at agility like Catra or strategy like Adora. But sometimes…” His voice dropped to a mumble. “…it hurts to be reminded so often. I guess.” He put his chin on his knees and stared at the baseboard.

Rogelio groaned and put a big gentle hand on Kyle’s back.

“Oh. I’m sorry, Kyle,” said Lonnie. “I guess we are kinda mean to you sometimes.”

“I mean, it’s—it’s fine. I’m a good sport about it.” He didn’t want to make them feel bad. “Mostly. But um, yeah.”

“We’ll try to be nicer from now on, right Rogelio?”

Rogelio grunted his approval.

Kyle smiled. “Thanks, guys. And maybe with Catra… you could do the same? Even though she’s mean sometimes, I think she deserves…” Adora’s whispered words played in his head: _You deserve the world, Catra. I just wish I knew how to give it to you._ “…well, better than what we’re giving her right now.”

Lonnie hesitated. “No promises. But I’ll try.”

“That’s good enough for me.” Kyle got up off the bench. “Um, good talk. Let’s get some ration bars! Oh and um… Catra would probably murder me in cold blood if she ever found out I was talking about her like this, and honestly Adora might too, and _Shadow Weaver_ —”

Lonnie and Rogelio laughed and stood beside him. “Don’t worry, we’ll make sure they never find out,” said Lonnie. “Come on, let’s see if it’s the grey kind tonight.”

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written fic before, and tbh I've never actually done much creative writing before, so constructive criticism is greatly appreciated! And let me know if I've tagged anything improperly or anything like that too - I'm new here! Okay thanks for reading!!


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